My go-to advice on prayer is “pray as you can, not as you can’t”. I did not come up with this and I have never been able to discover who said it originally. If someone has found a form of prayer that “works” then I would never want to discourage them. God hears and receives our prayers the way a parent hears and receives the first words of a child. It does not matter how beautiful or articulate the words are. The parent is thrilled to hear their child speak regardless of what they say. The first discernable word I recall my daughter saying (other than “mama” and “dada”) was “banana”. It was beautiful. I imagine if we simply say “banana” with an awareness of God, God smiles.

But prayer is more than words. Sometimes it is less than words. I define prayer as being present with God who is already present with us. There is never a moment where we escape the presence of God. Just like you can sit in a room for hours with someone and not pay attention to them, we can live most of our lives in the same room with God and not give him a thought. Not only is God present with us in the sense that he is near, he is present with us in the sense that he is paying attention to us. He is listening to us, watching us, caring for us, giving strength to our lungs as they breathe in and out, keeping our hearts beating. God is always as fully present with us as we can be present with anyone. Prayer is simply the moment that we start to pay attention.

One of my favorite ways to pray is what is sometimes called the “centering prayer”. You sit in the presence of God and think about his love. This is quite difficult to do and so it is helpful to find a word or phrase that reminds you of God and the love of God. My word is “grace”. Everytime my mind shifts away from God to something else – work I need to do, how I need to pray more, or whatever else it may be – I whisper, “grace”. I do not ask anything from God. God does not ask anything from me. We are. We are together. Sometimes God grants me words or images of his love. Sometimes I say “thank you” in my heart. But the point is not conversation or request, the point is presence.

I find it most hard to pray any form of prayer when I am tired. My mind does not want to focus. I could be praying a psalm or even an extemporaneous prayer and forget what I am saying. Yet I believe God receives these prayers with joy. There is importance in continuing to form the pattern and habit of prayer, even if it feels like nothing is being accomplished.  Yoda may say, “Do or do not, there is no try,” but Yoda knows little about prayer. God says to us, “Try all you want. The trying is the doing. If you try to pray, you are praying!”

There are no bad prayers nor are there bad pray-ers. The person who stumbles through words of their first awkward attempt at prayer is praying every bit as good and beautiful of a prayer as the monk who has devoted his life to the practice. We are all novices and beginners in prayer, and God receives it all with joy. We are in the presence of the living God and in praying we are participating in that presence! We are mystics! This is not an activity to be evaluated or mastered. It is a communion with God to be celebrated and enjoyed.